Professor Snape Takes a Holiday
by PinkTeaCup
Summary: Professor Snape Takes a holiday with some unusual travelling companions. A crossover comedy.


"… I believe that sums up any unfinished school business before we break for summer holidays . As always, I eagerly await news of your various trips and adventures when we return to Hogwarts, refreshed and, hopefully, ready for the new term. As for myself, I anticipate an exciting visit to the new Sock World which has recently opened in the Yucatan Peninsula . "

Albus Dumbledore paused for effect, his eye twinkling.

"I'm sure more than a few Christmas stockings will hold a special treat from my visit. "

At this, Severus Snape, who was sitting at the far end of the staff room table nearest the exit, visibly flinched. He caught the eye of Minerva McGonagall, who was seated at his right and, not so very subtly, rolled his eyes. Professor McGonagall smirked and raised the hem of her robe an inch or two. There, on her leg, was a violently purple sock, large and small deranged looking Manx cats emblazoned in neat Fleur de Lys patterns, a reminder of last year's visit to Sock World, Brittany.

"I'm dead", he breathed. "It's going to be black sombreros, I just know it."

Dumbledore stood and beamed at his staff.

"If there's no further business to conduct, let me wish each of you a restful holiday."

Professor Snape was halfway out of his seat, reaching for the doorknob, visions of long lazy afternoons at Spinner's End pleasantly spent with his 'must read' list when…

"A moment, please, if you don't mind, Severus,"

Severus froze, his arm on the doorknob, freedom tantalizingly close and yet still so far away. He stepped aside wistfully, letting several faculty members stampede through the door and found himself facing a smiling Dumbledore.

"Yes, Headmaster? "

"This will only take a minute, Severus. I'm worried about you, particularly about the way you drove yourself this year. I realize it wasn't easy dealing with Quirrel. Filch tells me you are up at all hours, patrolling the school…"

"Headmaster, it was necessary to…"

"Let me finish, Severus." Dumbldore's eyes were kind, but his voice was firm. "You are to have a proper holiday, this year. I want you to forget about Hogwarts and anything else that stands between you and complete relaxation. You are to do nothing moiré taxing than read a book, preferably on some sunny beach in the south of France, do you understand? I want you back, refreshed, in September.

Snape regarded the headmaster for a long moment. It had been a long time since anyone cared enough about him to scold him. He knew the headmaster spoke the truth. He, himself, had recognized the signs 

of exhaustion but characteristically disregarded them. In truth, he had never felt so fatigued, so out of sorts. Perhaps a little holiday was just what he needed to recharge himself. He forgot the snarky response he had prepared and spoke quietly.

"I have to pay a visit to Hogsmeade to order some supplies, and then I promise I'll take your advice. I might even travel to Greece . His mouth twisted into a lopsided smile. "Is that sunny enough for you?"

"That'll do nicely, Severus", Dumbledore said, his own quiet smile echoing Snape's. "Perhaps you'd like a quick firewhiskey to give our holidays a proper start?

The two men let the staff room, closing the door behind them for the last time that term.

"Now, Severus. when are you going to get over your deplorable sock bias….?

2

The streets of Hogsmeade were fairly deserted on this early summer morning, as Severus Snape slowly made his way down the cobblestoned arcade, his arms laden with packages. Intent upon his shopping list, and where he could find the freshest ingredients, he barely registered the blue call box on his right, an early muggle anomaly. Overhead, a large number of owls crisscrossed the street, each with it's own mission.

He certainly didn't see the auburn haired woman running towards him before their collision. They hit with a resounding thud that left him breathless.

"Oi! Don't you watch where you're goin, Man In Black'? You might've knocked me over!"

"See here! You were the one running on a busy…"

Indignation turned to outrage as the bold woman grabbed his elbow and pulled him roughly towards the call box.

"What the h..?"

"Are y'daft man? Can't you see them? They're comin'. You have no time to run."

With a strength completely at odds with her slender appearance, the auburn-haired woman pushed a very shocked Severus Snape inside the door of the improbable antique muggle call box before he had time to reach for his wand. He had barely enough time to take in his surroundings when the door opened again, and a tall, slender frenetic man rushed in, shoving him roughly out of the way. The man,who was dressed in a brown suit with white trainers and resembled a wizard playing muggle dress-up, headed for a column of flashing lights, in the middle of the vast room. His hands were a blur as they played over the blinking lights at the bottom of the column, all the while muttering to himself. The room inside the call box began to make strange, whirring noises and it seemed as though it was moving.

Professor Snape felt physically ill.

3

"Oi! Spaceboy! We have a visitor!"

The slender man in the brown suit looked up. For the first time he noticed the tall thin man wrapped in the black cloak. The man was looking all around him with wary interest, nonplussed by the interior size of the call box.

"Hello? The slender man said. "And who are you?"

Snape drew himself up to his full height.

"Who am I? Just who are you to kidnap me from a public street in broad daylight? What is this place, where am I, and who in Merlin's name are you?

The slender man's eyes widened as he turned to the woman.

" Donna! Did you kidnap this gentleman?"

"I had to, Doctor, the Strixians would have gotten him in another minute."

"Doctor? Doctor who? Who are you and what is this place? And what are Strixians? AND WHERE IN BLAZES AM I?" Professor Snape made for the door. He was stopped by the auburn haired woman whom he deduced was named Donna. She smiled at him with warm brown eyes, and patted him on the arm.

"I don't think you want to do that, tall, dark and handsome. We're miles above the earth. My name is Donna Noble, and this is the Doctor. You are on board the TARDIS, strange as that may sound. We rescued you from the Strixians, they were all around you, and you were in danger. Now, what's your name when someone's callin' you?"

"Severus Snape. My name is Professor Severus Snape, and I don't understand what you mean by Strixians. The only other living things on the street were owls…"

"But they weren't common owls, Professor", the Doctor interjected. "They are Strixians on board a party cruiser from their planet that crash landed not far from the street where you saw them, and they have the unfortunate habit of draining blood for food. I was wracking my mind looking for a way to round them up and send them on their way, when they began to overtake me and I made a run for it."

Professor Snape's head was spinning from the combined experience of being in some sort of a future transport device and now this shock - learning that aliens were fluttering along the main throughfare of Hogsmeade. He leaned heavily on the console across from his host.

The man in the brown suit looked intently at his visitor. His eyes softened as he took in the perplexed professor, fatigue apparent on his face.

"I believe I owe you a more complete explanation, Professor." he began.

For some time he explained who he was and where he came from, the TARDIS, and what Donna's relationship was to him. He thrilled Severus Snape's weary heart with stories about the different times in earth's history they had visited, and the adventures they'd had on exotic planets. The Doctor noted Snape gradually relaxed under the spell of his storytelling, until he was smiling at the idea of meeting Shakespeare. Gradually, the Doctor brought him up to date, ending with his conundrum on how to deal with the Strixians.

"Quite frankly, I'm stumped. I don't know how to get rid of them." The man in the brown suit leaned back, his tale finished.

Severus Snape's thin face broke into a small smile.

"I believe I can help you, Doctor. Can you return me to Hogsmeade?"

4

The air was thick with Strixians as Severus Snape, Donna and the Doctor emerged from the TARDIS to the twilight lit Hogsmeade.

"Awright, tall, dark and handsome. Let's see what you've got."

"MUST she be so familiar?" mused Professor Snape as Donna's rather strident voice faded. "Still, her eyes are kind, and that red hair…"

He shook himself out of his musing and to Donna's and the Doctor's astonishment, produced a long slender wand, and with lightening speed and precision, pointed it at the Strixians, shouting in rapid order:

_"Impedimentia!"_

_"Reductio!"_

In short order the Strixians stopped in midflight and shrank to bee-like size. A sidelong glance revealed the Doctor and Donna, standing nearby with mouths open, not caring very much who saw them.

"Where's their spacecraft?"

The Doctor shook himself out of his trance-like state, and pointed the way.

_"Mobiliperegrini!"_

In short order, Professor Snape, the Doctor and Donna led the parade of tiny Strixians out of Hogsmeade.and straight away into a wooded area, where they found the Strixian's spacecraft, partially embedded in the dirt.

"Oi! Man in Black! Now what are you going to do – all these birds and no place to go."

"Shhh, Donna! I think Professor Snape has everything under control." The Doctor's eyes twinkled in anticipation of something truly spectacular, and he didn't have long to wait.

_"Wingardium Leviosa!"_

The heavy grey craft slowly worked it's way out of the mud and came to a standstill about five feet off the ground.

"Oooh, would you look at that!" Donna breathed.

"Alohomora!"

The door flew open, and Professor Snape directed the Strixians into their craft.

"Doctor, now's the time to fix what's wrong, before I return them to full size and set them free.

For the first time in several months, Severus Snape was enjoying himself. His eyes glinted with pleasure, and a genuine smile played across his features.

"You know you're not half bad when you smile, Man in Black!"

"Donna!"

Oi! Don't get your knickers in a twist, Spaceboy! I was just saying!" Donna turned and winked at Snape. To his utter astonishment, he winked back.

Before long the Strixian ship was repaired, the Strixians returned to normal size and set free.

The trio watched as the ship blinked out into the upper atmosphere and then disappeared.

Turning, the Doctor nudged Professor Snape.

"You know, Professor, you would be very handy in an emergency. What say you travel with us, at least until your school term begins? It's not every day you get an invitation to travel through time and space."

"I couldn't….I have too much to do to prepare for …."

Suddenly, Dumbledore's words, and Snape's promise came back to him. He felt the weight of the past ten months lift from his shoulders. For the first time in a long time, he was filled with a sense of pleasant anticipation.

"That is to say, I could only go with you for a few weeks at the most. "

Donna broke the silence first ."Well, what are we waiting for, tall, skinny and alien? Let's show him the universe!"

The Doctor smiled at his new traveling companion, his eyes kind. " Is there anything in particular you'd like to see, Severus?"

"I want to see everything, Doctor! But first, there's this small shop in the Yucatan peninsula…"

Fin


End file.
